Do you focus on what’s possible, or what you think is impossible?

Hardships become less stressful if we change our views or perceptions of stress, perceiving them as opportunities, we gain other experiences.

A friend wrote to me the other day, “I had a depressing thought while resting today. I remembered the exact moment when the music stopped playing—the music that had kept me dreaming and smiling throughout my 30s. I’m still optimistic and happy but it’s not the same. The music isn’t playing anymore.”

I wrote him back with, “That happened to me this year. But there are other things in life that can keep us motivated and help us feel vital. Now it’s about making choices rather than feeling pulled toward something. Find things that allow you to express yourself. Watch your progress. Goals can take its place. When you are actively participating in life, you don’t notice this. It’s when the to-do list takes over that we don’t feel alive. Keep the people and things you care about in focus and let that be only a passing thought. The secret is to get back in the game and don’t put too much attention these thoughts.”

When you participate in your own well-being, you can shape your behavior and see results in both subtle and dramatic ways.